Thanks to Jessie from Jessie Jo At Home for writing up this great post on becoming a YES parent. This really is inline with what we have learned through Lennox’s Montessori schooling and I really need to takes these tips to heart and make it a more common occurance in our home. I hope everyone enjoys her post and make sure to swing by her blog!
That doesn’t sound nice, does it?
Would you like being told “No” all the time? I’m guessing not. How do you think our children feel when they hear the word no all the time?
“No” to me is such a negative word. But it’s such an easy word to say. All the time. Out of habit.
So we need to break the habit of saying “No” to our kids. I also realized that because we are saying “No” so much to our children, when it doesn’t need to be said, it will defeat its purpose. Save the word “No” for emergencies. So when they do hear you say it, they will KNOW it’s serious. For example: running out into the street is a good time for “NO!”s.
Instead of being negative towards them let’s bring back the positivity. Children learn by example so if they hear us telling them “No” all the time, they will more than likely be saying “No” as they get older. They will say “No” to everything when they start doing things and making decisions on their own.
Even as an adult I find myself saying ‘no’ to things that I really don’t even need to. I know that I need to start saying ‘YES’ more to going out with friends, offering to help someone, taking time out of my day for someone else, being more adventurous, living life in general; you all know what I’m talking about. What would you rather your kids be saying when they grow up?
The reason I’m bringing this up is because I feel like I say ‘no’ to my toddler WAY more than I should. It hit me the other day when all she would say back to me is “NO!” Every time I asked her to do something simple, even a question as simple as, “What should we have for supper tonight?”, I would get an answer of “NO!”.
It makes me feel horrible, that my husband and I have been saying it so much to her that she is answering every question and statement with ‘no’. It obviously has become a problem and because of the word ‘no’ there is more negativity in our house. It’s not as happy.
So that is why I came up with a new challenge for all parents including myself. We need to start saying “YES!” to our kids! Stop saying ‘no’ and “don’t” and let them have a choice of something instead. We need to start letting our kids have the freedom of choosing something or making their own decisions, as well as feeling like they CAN do so many things in life. They CAN try new things and explore, learn, play and have fun.
Now, this excludes the obvious saying ‘no’ to drugs, strangers, etc. I’m talking about giving our kids more opportunities to just be kids. But at the same time, I’m not saying we should let our kids stay up til midnight and eat cake for breakfast just because they want to. When there are simple decisions to be made, we should let them help with that decision. If our kids have an idea or want to play a game, say “YES!”
What will it hurt if you play at the park for an extra ten minutes? Why say ‘no’ to that? Say ‘yes’ and you will probably make more memories than if you would have told them ‘no’. Think about all the time you spend in front of the television, staring at your computer screen, or talking on your phone. Now think about how many times your child has asked you to play or for your help while you were doing those things and you said “No.”. There probably would have been a lot more smiles, laughter and memories made if you would have just said “Yes.”.
I think the reason a lot of us parents are saying no so much to our kids lately, is because we don’t have enough patience anymore and technology is getting in the way of life. Sometimes we need to slow down and shut off the phones for a while so that we DO have enough time to be able to say ‘yes’ to them.
Results of a Yes Parent
I’m trying a lot harder to be a ‘yes’ parent instead of a ‘no’ parent. I like the results I’ve seen already. There is a lighter mood in our house and it’s enjoyable. I also found that since I’ve stopped saying “No” there are actually less fits and melt downs. When a toddler hears the that word it’s like it means “DO IT!” in their head. So instead of being told “NO!”, I offer my toddler a choice and let her decide which one she wants to say “Yes” to.
I’m excited to hear every one’s opinions on being a “Yes” parent. Please comment and share your thoughts. Tell us how you became a “Yes” parent! 🙂
Jessie is a proud stay at home mom and wife from Nebraska. She is usually trying to keep up with her two-year old daughter, 6 month old daughter and busy husband. She enjoys being a mother, blogging, playing outside and working from home part-time. Jessie would love to connect with you on her blog, Bloglovin, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram and her eBoutique!