Category Archives: Parenting

Becoming a Yes Parent!

Thanks to Jessie from Jessie Jo At Home for writing up this great post on becoming a YES parent. This really is inline with what we have learned through Lennox’s Montessori schooling and I really need to takes these tips to heart and make it a more common occurance in our home. I hope everyone enjoys her post and make sure to swing by her blog!

“NO!”

That doesn’t sound nice, does it?

Would you like being told ”No” all the time? I’m guessing not. How do you think our children feel when they hear the word no all the time?

“No” to me is such a negative word. But it’s such an easy word to say. All the time. Out of habit.

So we need to break the habit of saying ”No” to our kids. I also realized that because we are saying “No” so much to our children, when it doesn’t need to be said, it will defeat its purpose. Save the word “No” for emergencies. So when they do hear you say it, they will KNOW it’s serious. For example: running out into the street is a good time for “NO!”s.

Instead of being negative towards them let’s bring back the positivity. Children learn by example so if they hear us telling them ”No” all the time, they will more than likely be saying ”No” as they get older. They will say “No” to everything when they start doing things and making decisions on their own.

Even as an adult I find myself saying ‘no’ to things that I really don’t even need to. I know that I need to start saying ‘YES’ more to going out with friends, offering to help someone, taking time out of my day for someone else, being more adventurous, living life in general; you all know what I’m talking about. What would you rather your kids be saying when they grow up?

The reason I’m bringing this up is because I feel like I say ‘no’ to my toddler WAY more than I should. It hit me the other day when all she would say back to me is “NO!” Every time I asked her to do something simple, even a question as simple as, “What should we have for supper tonight?”, I would get an answer of “NO!”.

It makes me feel horrible, that my husband and I have been saying it so much to her that she is answering every question and statement with ‘no’. It obviously has become a problem and because of the word ‘no’ there is more negativity in our house. It’s not as happy.

So that is why I came up with a new challenge for all parents including myself. We need to start saying “YES!” to our kids! Stop saying ‘no’ and “don’t” and let them have a choice of something instead. We need to start letting our kids have the freedom of choosing something or making their own decisions, as well as feeling like they CAN do so many things in life. They CAN try new things and explore, learn, play and have fun.

Now, this excludes the obvious saying ‘no’ to drugs, strangers, etc. I’m talking about giving our kids more opportunities to just be kids. But at the same time, I’m not saying we should let our kids stay up til midnight and eat cake for breakfast just because they want to. When there are simple decisions to be made, we should let them help with that decision. If our kids have an idea or want to play a game, say “YES!”

What will it hurt if you play at the park for an extra ten minutes? Why say ‘no’ to that? Say ‘yes’ and you will probably make more memories than if you would have told them ‘no’. Think about all the time you spend in front of the television, staring at your computer screen, or talking on your phone. Now think about how many times your child has asked you to play or for your help while you were doing those things and you said “No.”. There probably would have been a lot more smiles, laughter and memories made if you would have just said “Yes.”.

I think the reason a lot of us parents are saying no so much to our kids lately, is because we don’t have enough patience anymore and technology is getting in the way of life. Sometimes we need to slow down and shut off the phones for a while so that we DO have enough time to be able to say ‘yes’ to them.

Results of a Yes Parent

I’m trying a lot harder to be a ‘yes’ parent instead of a ‘no’ parent. I like the results I’ve seen already. There is a lighter mood in our house and it’s enjoyable. I also found that since I’ve stopped saying “No” there are actually less fits and melt downs. When a toddler hears the that word it’s like it means “DO IT!” in their head. So instead of being told “NO!”, I offer my toddler a choice and let her decide which one she wants to say “Yes” to.

I’m excited to hear every one’s opinions on being a “Yes” parent. Please comment and share your thoughts. Tell us how you became a “Yes” parent!

Jessie is a proud stay at home mom and wife from Nebraska. She is usually trying to keep up with her two-year old daughter, 6 month old daughter and busy husband. She enjoys being a mother, blogging, playing outside and working from home part-time. Jessie would love to connect with you on her blog, Bloglovin, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram and her eBoutique!

Introducing Chores to Your Toddler

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I’m on vacation for the next few days, so I would like to Thank Samantha from On Pink Bears and Pacifiers for writing up this wonderful post. Samantha is a stay-at-home-mom to 2-year-old Clara, and 7-month-old Audrey!

When it comes to chores around the house, I’m still learning how to do them myself – but I’d love for my daughters to know a little bit more about keeping a house clean than I did growing up (and therefore hopefully they won’t struggle as adults as much as I do now!), so I’m all over giving my girls some age-appropriate responsibilities now.

I’ve also heard it said again and again that because toddlers have a tendency to WANT to help you, the best time to start introducing them to household tasks is while they’re young enough to still be interested.

So I did what I always do when I become interested in a new project – I started planning and list making. Here are a few tips to follow when introducing new chores to young children:

Keep it simple! Basically the idea here is to make sure that any task given to a toddler to do should be simple to explain, and physically do-able for that particular child. For very young children, introduce only one or two new tasks at a time, and let the child take some time (days or weeks) to adjust and learn each task before adding more.
Praise and encouragement. Toddlers want to help you around the house because they want your approval. At this stage – making sure they get that approval in the form of excited praise is the best way to ensure their continued interest. They love to know they’ve made you happy!
Set a time limit or deadline. If you have a child who dawdles, or tries to avoid a task by distracting themselves with other things, it may be a good idea to have a clear timeline for the job. Set a timer, play a clean-up song, or whatever works for you. Having a pre-determined consequence if the task is not complete can be a helpful motivator as well.

After brainstorming ways to get toddlers involved, I was encouraged to realize that there were many small chores that my daughter was already helping with regularly around the house. Some of these are appropriate for a toddler chore or ‘daily task’ chart, and some are simply things they can do to help you when you are cleaning, or other small ways to help them get involved or introduce them to household responsibilities.

Put toys away. I don’t always expect my daughter to put away all of her toys by herself – especially if she’s had friends over and there is more than the typical amount of mess – but at the end of a playtime, I will invoke her help to clean up while I help her clean up as well. When we are in a hurry and I really don’t have time to wait for her to complete the job herself, it is important to me to make sure she still cleans up ‘until the job is done’.
Put clothes in the hamper. I still need to teach this one to my husband. At any time of day when clothes are removed, it is a simple task to have a toddler carry them to the dirty laundry hamper.
Carry mail or newspaper. We are lucky enough to have our mail delivered to our door, but to send mail we need to walk down the street to the post box, and many people in our area have to go to the post box to pick up their mail as well. My daughter is thrilled to be involved in any part of the mail sending or pick-up, and can easily carry an envelope.
Make bed. Depending on their age, a toddler may not be able to do this on their own, but my 30 month old daughter can straighten the blanket on her toddler bed without any help from me.
Help Set & Clear the Table. At mealtimes, our daughter is responsible for her own dishes. They are small and plastic, so they can’t break and won’t cut her. We hand her the dishes from the cupboard (she can’t reach where we keep them) and puts them at her spot at the table. Depending on the amount of food left on her plate (which is usually a lot), she would also be capable of taking her plate from the table and putting it either on the countertop or in the dishwasher.
Sweep the Floor. This one is more to give the child the allusion of helping, but toddlers love sweeping the floor.
Brush teeth. This one isn’t a chore, exactly, but it’s a daily task that I find sometimes gets missed in the daily shuffle – especially because I’m really bad at following any kind of routine if it isn’t written out for me,
Get dressed. Kind of like teeth brushing, this one isn’t really a chore, but it may be something to consider for a daily chore or ‘task’ chart. Clara and I struggle sometimes to get her dressed in the morning, and having the ability to ‘check’ it on her list might help motivate her.
Throw away garbage. I’ve had to keep a close watch on our kitchen and bathroom garbage bins for awhile, because ever since Clara realized what they were, she has been excited to help us throw things away. Now, whenever I am house cleaning and wanting to keep her somewhat busy, I will occasionally ask her to ‘take this to the garbage’. This is more to help me get something done, but it keeps her involved.
Dusting. We don’t have one yet, but I plan to get one of those microfibre dusting ‘mitts’. I definitely think this is something Clara will love to help me with.
Feed/care for pets. We keep our cat’s dry food in a plastic bin with a 1/2 cup scoop inside that is just the right size for little hands to dump into Kitty’s dish.
Turn off lights before leaving a room. I read this somewhere, and thought it was a neat idea to get children into this habit early. I think most toddlers wouldn’t be able to reach most light switches on their own, but it’s a good thought anyway.
Put away clean laundry. As early as 20 months (maybe even earlier), a child can be handed a stack of folded t-shirts and told to put them in an open drawer. I did this with Clara last fall to help get her involved pretty much as soon as she could walk and understand basic directions. I had to get over my perfectionism and be ok with some messy drawers, but it was worth it to see Clara’s pride at having been included.
Put away cutlery.This was the first kitchen task we had Clara do, and mostly it was because she insisted on helping us unload the dishwasher. We set up the cutlery basket from the dishwasher so that it was right next to the open cutlery drawer and had her sort the spoons and forks into the correct places.

Start the dishwasher. We give Clara the soap cube, and she places it in the little soap-drawer in the dishwasher and closes the lid. She then closes the dishwasher (with help) and pushes the button that she is instructed to push.
Help wash dishes. Also known as ‘Play in the sink’. This is to keep her busy while I’m doing dishes – I fill my rinse sink with cooler water and make sure to only pass her the ‘safe’ dishes. The dishes that I don’t want her to play with I quickly rinse myself and place on the drying rack. This way she can stand next to me (on a chair) and happily play in the water. This makes a crazy mess in our house, but being Mom to a toddler has meant that some messes I’m learning to deal with…
Pull weeds. With supervision, and as long as you’re not too meticulous a gardener, it should be totally doable for a toddler to help with this.
Water plants. This would probably also be best with a little supervision…
Natural consequence cleaning. This is a bit different than a regular ‘chore’, but I think it’s a great idea to get children involved in cleaning up their own messes as a natural consequence of their actions. My daughter was excitedly colouring on the inside of a giant furniture box that we had turned into a fort for her, and while I was in the other room her excitement spilled over onto her bedroom door and she scribbled all over it.

Hi! I’m Samantha from On Pink Bears and Pacifiers! I am a stay-at-home-mom to 2-year-old Clara, and 7-month-old Audrey. I blog about our life and adventures, while trying to keep track of our favourite activities, recipes and resources along the way. I’m so excited to be here with Terrell Family Fun and all of you while Heather is away on vacation! Thank you Heather, for the opportunity to guest post on your blog!

Find me on: Google +, Facebook, and Twitter.

Great Family Weekend!

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Mother’s Day weekend has come and gone, and I have to say, it was one of the best family weekends we have had lately. It was full of 100% great quality family time! Which, I think came at just the right time. Next week Lennox and I will be traveling up to Cape Cod, then I may be going to London for a week or a few for work, then Lennox will be 3 and then I’ll be going to Chicago for BlogHer, so there is just a lot going on soon – so some quality time together was just what we needed!

At school we had a Mother’s Day breakfast, which of course she always loves when I go to school with her:

Friday night we went shopping for some new goodies at the outlet mall and Lennox got to ride the carousel, which was pretty much the highlight of her day!

The highlight of my night, other than being together with everyone? New coach purse for Mother’s Day from Kyle!

Saturday morning we had gymnastics and then did some errands and had lunch out. Simple enough, but still fun! Lennox is really enjoying gymnastics – she is really good at the balance beam (the ones a little lower to the ground she will do without any help) and is learning how to do a back flip on one of them!

We also spent the afternoon/evening outside in the BEAUTIFUL weather (Sunny, 80*, with a little breeze). We worked on Lennox’s gift for mother’s day. Kyle had gotten all the supplies for us to make a flowerpot together. Can’t wait to plant some flowers in them this week with Lennox!

Then on Sunday, Mother’s Day, we headed out to Dallas, (after Lennox finally woke up at 930am!) which we rarely do. We finally made it to the Perot Museum of Nature and Science; it is an amazing new museum. We had such a great time and have so much more to see next time (thanks to the membership we got for Christmas from my sister!).

Racing at the Perot Museum against Dinosaurs!

After the museum we took a walk for a few blocks and ended up at the brand new Klyde Warren Park. I had seen the park on TV when it first opened and it looks pretty awesome. Lennox loved watching all the people and puppies! We were able to get some yummy food truck food and then of course, play in the big fountains. That probably was the highlight of her day

So to sum up the weekend… after a rambling explanation (sorry!) – it was full of fun with Lennox & Kyle and moments like this make my heart full and complete!

I hope everyone else had a great mother’s day!