You’re always trying to be the best version of yourself. But with so many opinions on what you should be or how you should do things, it has become confusing.
You end up feeling insecure, trying to fit into the norms and expectations that people have of you. You can’t move on your own. You have to let others decide for you. Even for basic things like when you need to get your garage door installed or your plumbing fixed, you check others’ recommendations and opinions.
But what if we offer advice that would encourage you to be “selfish” for once? Here are some motivations you don’t often read in self-help articles that always encourage you to decide for the greater good.
It’s OK to be individualistic.
If your career is no longer working for you, don’t hesitate to change course. Don’t stick to it just because you’re afraid that you couldn’t find a better position. You should also guard against emotional blackmail. You might have been with the company when it was still starting and your boss or the owner is appealing to your conscience that it somehow helped you build your career.
No, you built your career. By doing so, you also helped the company and the others involved in establishing it. If you feel that you could be more if you explore new opportunities, don’t be afraid to let it go.
Self-preservation is not always bad. But it shouldn’t be an excuse to disregard others and trample on them completely. At the end of the day, you are still part of a community. Being individualistic only means you don’t sacrifice your personal goals to fit the mold people have made for you. It’s not about stepping on others to advance your self-interests. Remember that respecting others starts with self-respect. And you simply do unto others what you want them to do for you.
Be a bit obsessive.
When you are obsessed with something, your mind zeroes in on it. That way, it’s easy for you to eliminate irrelevant activities and concerns and spend your days going after what you most want.
Often, you don’t get to explore your full potential because you are interested in so many things. Your focus, efforts, and resources are scattered and in the end, your outputs are mediocre. If you could train yourself to just focus on the most relevant goal for you, then you’d stop wasting time and energy on useless endeavors.
There is such a thing as controlled obsession. As mentioned, as long as you’re not violating the rights of others, you should do everything you can to achieve your goals.
Be selective.
Contrary to advice to welcome everything as an opportunity to grow, you would do better if you discern from the start what you want to engage in, and who you want to engage with.
Following the previous advice on focusing your efforts, don’t be afraid that you missed some opportunities. If you know the ultimate thing you want in your life, those missed opportunities are just diversions that would have sidetracked you.
You can’t waste your resources, especially your time, in exploring all possibilities. Remember that time is something you can’t ever gain back. You should spend it more frugally than you do your money.
You don’t have to lose yourself while bringing up your child.
There’s a common misconception that a parent must be selfless for the sake of their children. That’s why once a child is born to a couple, one of them has to let go of their career and focus on child-rearing. That’s what they think to raise their child well.
Your children don’t define you. Your role is to guide them through life, and not become their slave. Yes, it’s your responsibility to commit part of your time to make sure the child feels the support and love from you as parents. But don’t make your world revolve around them.
Never forget yourself when you build a family. That’s where so many pent-up frustrations come from. Often, when you sacrifice yourself, you also expect something in return from your child. And when they don’t live up to your expectations, it’s not them who are affected. It’s you who is destroyed because you’ve been projecting yourself on them.
These statements should be taken with a grain of salt. You must remember that at all times, it is you who is deciding. People could be pressuring you to do things you’re not comfortable with. But at the end of the day, you can throw all those opinions and recommendations that don’t support who you really are.
